What do you want?
When was the last time you were asked this simple question?
We can get so focused on pleasing others that it is easy to forget our own needs, wants and desires.
And then, in those fleeting moments we do get to ourselves, it is more likely that we’ll focus on what we don’t want; “I don’t want to do that again”, “I wish this noise would go away”, “I’m just too busy to do that”, and on and on…
The problem with this is that the list of things we don’t want is literally infinite.
So what DO you want?
Take some time to ask yourself what you want, I mean, what do you really want!
Write it down, make a list.
What do you write down? Everything! It doesn’t matter how silly, indulgent or opulent it may seem. This is for you and you alone. No one else needs to see it. You can even burn it after you’re done (I by no means endorse pyromaniac tendencies and watching it all burn as those beautiful flames engulf everything in sight and dance heavenly across the horizon in search of blissful chaos…)
Where was I?
When you think you’re done, push to add five more.
Pushing for those extra five, force us to delve even deeper into who we are and what we need. It is often at this time we can reveal things we want that have been hiding inside us for a long time, covered by years of stuff.
“stuff” – a highly technical term for things like feeling unworthy, believing we don’t deserve it, taking on other peoples negative words and ideas, putting other peoples needs first… You know the stuff!
Once you have your list, sit with it and look at all the things you’ve been denying yourself. Go through this list of needs, wants and desires and for each one pause and ask “what is the purpose of this? What do I get from this?”
This will reveal the deeper need behind what you think you want. You may even find that many of them are feeding the same underlying need.
For instance, wanting to leave the children behind in a busy shop and wanting to run away from everything and live in a little cottage in the hills with just you, a lazy cat and a veggie garden, may both be serving the need for some peace and quiet.
Now that you have these deeper needs that lie behind the wants, you may be able to think of other (sometimes more resourceful) ways of achieving the same thing that works in better with your lifestyle.
So maybe instead of running away or leaving the children somewhere to be lost, you could make some time for someone else to look after them while you go and sit in the garden or visit the beach and read a book, have a nap, do some meditation, or whatever you wish.
The importance of YOU
It is important that you find time to serve these needs. They are not some idle indulgence, they are what your soul needs to soar.
Feeding your soul with the nutrients it needs is just as important as feeding your body with good nutrition. When your soul is running on empty, everything becomes harder. When your soul is full, nothing can bring you down.
You will even find that serving others becomes easier and more joyful.
Every day, be sure to make time for YOU! You are important. and most importantly, you are the only one who is truly responsible for your own joy.